Battlefield Of Masks
by RunAway Angels
Summary: The war of Earth is over but who will save the pilots? As a plot is set in motion, Duo and Heero are torn from each other through a simple misunderstanding but even that may trigger the self destructive little boys inside. 1 x 2
1. Chapter 1

**Battlefield of Masks.**

Authors: Evyl

Genre: Romance, Humour

Disclaimer: Right...don't own Gundam Wing...etc...

Pairings: Heero/Duo, Quatre/Trowa

**Waiting for the One **

I stood there, under the pounding rain, I didn't know whether I was crying, when there's so much water on your face, you simply can't tell.  
I opened my mouth and tasted the rain but it wasn't sweet and gentle, it was sour, bitter like the pain in my heart.  
The grey buildings surrounding me loomed in a dull fog and entwined with the clouded sky.  
-It hasn't ever rained like this… not even in the war.  
I had spun around to meet Wufei's onyx eyes.  
-Wu…  
I turned away from him.  
-How long are you going to wait Maxwell? How long are you going to waste on that unworthy bastard?  
I looked into the distance, hoping to see a figure come forth from the lucid landscape, hoping to once again drown in the sea of cobalt.  
-As long…-I paused.  
I felt Wufei put his hands around me.  
-As long as it takes.  
I felt him shudder and fall back from his embrace. Perhaps he was disgusted?  
-Duo… -he said gently.  
It always felt strange when he called me by my first name. Everyone had become so accustomed to him naming each by their surname.  
-You're too good for trash like him.  
I turned to him, anger filling me through and through. He stepped back and in his eyes I saw sadness. Did he really love me? I didn't care, he knew how much I loved Heero, he knew… My fist shot out and hit him in the face.  
-Shut UP! You don't know anything about him! What you've seen is only a mask! It's only a cage that he built around himself for protection! He's different! He'll come, he'll come…  
My voice failed me as I doubled over. My heart, going so hard as if it's about to explode, such pain, so much, too much…  
He lifted me and carried to his car.  
-Then so it be Maxwell… but he is never coming.  
I wanted to die, that moment and now….  
I just wanted to die.

**Waiting for the One.**  
In rain that pounds against my skin  
Shall I cry, and weep, and scream  
In looming darkness all around  
A friend will come and say:  
Wait you here?  
Why do you think he'll come upon this day?  
Why do I wait indeed?  
Why do I waste my time?  
Because I need you?  
No, because you're mine

**TBC**

Later it isn't as depressing as this...


	2. Chapter 2

**Battlefield of Masks.**

Authors: Evyl

Genre: Romance, Humour

Disclaimer: Right...don't own Gundam Wing...etc...

Pairings: Heero/Duo

**Not so perfect in the End.**

As I stood on the corner of the empty street I couldn't help but wonder why he was taking so long, it had almost been an hour since I came here. Indeed I had been early but in my life's experiences I had learned early on that the timing was a crucial part of winning and losing.

And I did **not **want to lose Duo.

I began to shift from foot to foot in anticipation.

The ideas and possibilities had begun to creep into my mind without me even realising.

What if he did not feel the same as me? What if he had run away, not wanting to hurt me but finding no other alternative?

After all…his motto **was **'I will run and I will hide but never tell a lie…'

I flinched at the memory of the infamous sentence which brought back all the memories of war and carnage.

In the war I had been the 'Perfect Soldier', the man who could achieve anything, accomplish any given task. I was the legend that was still passed on in the military circles, the myth, **hero** even.

But was I really all that? I was always so uncertain, so afraid to make a mistake. I kept on acting, putting on a great show to throw the others off, never showing any emotions or signs of weakness. In battles all I had to do was fight and scary as it may seem, I practically never made mistakes for fighting to me had been like a gift, a talent.

Real life proved to be different. I was a shock, a territory where I knew literally nothing. No data.

And while there were many books about things such as piloting and warfare, there were non that could help me in this world of peace, a world **I** helped create.

Anybody I asked said that you learnt through experience but that was something that I lacked due to my solitary life and all the joy of it.

I had been taught how to fight, not how to become friends with people…friends or more.

I leaned onto the hedge stone and winced as the bitter thoughts filed me.

I had opened up to Duo and now he had gone and done this? How was this fair? I felt a sting of misery as my thoughts became darker.

I had been rejected, used and thrown away like a broken toy.

Is this what happened when you let others see what hurts so much? Well, in that case I don't want this pain, in that case I want to hide again. But this time, I won't let go of the mask…never.

-Heero!

For a moment hope rose in my chest but soon was replaced by horror. A blinding pink monster of a vehicle had stopped before me and within seconds the owner of it was hanging on my arm .

Relena.

-Heeeeeeeeeroo? What are you doing her all alone?-she stretched my name…how annoying.

I looked down at her, sarcasm in my eyes. I wasn't sure if she noticed, maybe she had pretended not to but she sure as hell didn't expect me to answer because she carried on talking.

-Would you like to come along with me? Yeah! That would be so very nice. That braided fool doesn't appreciate you enough, how could he? Leave you standing out here, all by yourself, in the cold…

My expression of sarcasm deepened as she referred to the weather. Cold? It was so bright and sunny…but I guess it was cold, on the inside.

Frozen.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I though about the remark concerning Duo, how did she know that I was waiting for him?

-..and then I said 'No sir' and they all laughed so I said…-

She chattered on, about random things while dragging me into her limo. As I moved I felt the weight of my heart, like a block of ice within my chest.

Nothing mattered now. What Duo had done to me was…too much, too painful. Nothing could be worse than that, not death, not hell not even being with Relena…

**Not so perfect in the End.**

I need guide lines to this life

Cause in the war it's simple, kill

But in reality that I must face

I need emotions, I need to feel

I might have saved this world

I might have made it free

But peace ain't what I'm used to

This life just ain't for me

So how do I go on now?

I cannot still pretend

That I'm the perfect soldier

Cause I ain't so perfect in the End.

**TBC**

Soon the depression will be over...in like nine chapters...


	3. Chapter 3

**Battlefield of Masks.**

Authors: Evyl

Genre: Romance

Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, the usual I don't own Gundam Wing blah blah blah

Pairings: Heero x Duo Trowa x Quatre

Warnings/classifications: shonen ai, angst

**Death was all I Wanted.**

Such pain of betrayal, the words and memories all swelling inside, emotions eager to escape and inform everyone of their existence. Deep hatred even towards loved ones filling and overriding everything else.

Darkness.

Death was all I wanted for a long time, for things to stop, for all the memories to escape, for all consciousness to fall apart and the thoughts, the thoughts to just disappear and never come back.

I've always tried not to break, tried to face life. But each time I fell and each time I had to try and get up. By myself.

Until one day, as I was falling, someone caught me and pulled me up.

Heero Yuy. The Perfect soldier.

But once I got to know him, he wasn't all that perfect, he was like me, hiding behind an image, but inside, he had the same problems, the same worries, the same emotions. He was the person I had wanted all my life. I didn't need him to go on living, I didn't depend on him for life. A lot of people mistake dependency for love. No, I never depended on him, I loved him, I needed to be with him but I didn't live of off him. Many people don't understand that and some, never will.

I used to think he understood, I used to think he loved, loved me and not that girl.

I though he would come.

But he didn't, he didn't come.

No, he broke a promise and he broke my heart.

When I was with him, I stooped being afraid and I started wanting to live again. I wanted to survive, so that I could be with him. I wanted to go on, to fight for peace, to achieve something pure. But most of all, I wanted him.

Darkness.

Why is it so dark?

Why is it always so dark?

I want to go out into space, it's also dark there…but at least there are the stars. Then I don't feel so alone.

But I am

All alone.

And all I want to do is die.

Heero…

**Death was all I wanted.**

Death was all I wanted

But suicide's a crime

Death was all I wanted

For the longest time

From this pain I want to run

To close my eyes and disappear

My mind to go black and numb

To banish all the hate and fear

Death was all I wanted

But war kept me going on

Death was all I wanted

My body's still alive, but my soul is gone

**TBC**

Thanks for reviewing all those did, all of you who don't, it's really annoying seeing like 147 hits on the story and like 2 reviews! Haha…

Anyway, reviews inspire me to carry on and everything…

Yes this is terribly dark and kinda boring to read over and over but well…I promise soon…


	4. Chapter 4

**Battlefield of masks.**

Authors: Evyl

Genre: Romance

Disclaimer: No I don't own Gundam

Pairings: Heero/Duo Trowa/Quatre

Warnings/classifications: shonen ai, angst

**Through the Looking Glass.**

Pointless slaughter. Nightmares of those I had killed, their pained and scared screams resonating through my mind. Night after night, the same images flashing through my head, right before my eyes. All burning themselves into my heart to such a strong point where even my sanity starts to slip out of my grasp.

So scared.

I exhaled all the carbon dioxide as I realised that I had been aimlessly staring out the window. Just looking to the sky, the eternal blue through which I had flown numerous times. Sandrock, the war.

But suddenly my attention was drawn to movement in the garden.

Wu Fei. Wu Fei who was carrying Duo who was looking so…fragile. What could have happened? An attack? No, not possible.

As I looked through the glass I saw Trowa open the door and engage in a silent conversation with Wu Fei. Then the Chinese man handed Duo over to Trowa and left in a hurry, as if running from the problem at hand.

I hurried down the stairs, worried. In the living room I found Duo in absolute hysteria and a confused looking Trowa. I looked to him for explanation but he just shrugged. The emotions from Duo came in waves of pain and loss. I backed away slightly. I could not identify the source of the feelings and found that it was hard to cope with them as they ate away at** my** heart.

-What's wrong Duo?-my voice wavered as I spoke as gently as possible.

He looked up, almost surprised by my presence. His eyes seemed to blur as he tried to concentrate but soon he gave up even on that and the tears fell from his eyes. This image of him I would never forget. Duo, the God of Death crumble before me, all that I ever thought of him slowly slip into a state of shock as I watched him brake apart.

-What is it?-I asked.

-I…how? No…too long…sleep…never came…

I could feel his soul slowly deteriorate into the nothingness within his mind. I could feel him collapsing on the inside, too tired for anything else. I looked at Trowa who slowly nodded as he understood my message to him.

-Duo? Trowa will take you to one of our guest bedrooms and you can rest there, alright?

He just kept staring into my eyes.

-G-go.-I managed to say as the emotions threatened to overpower me.

Later, when Trowa came downstairs and sat by my side I asked him the obvious question.

-Did Wu Fei tell you about what happened to him?

Trowa shook his head.

-He just asked me to look after Duo for a while, he said he had some things to sort out.

Then suddenly his expression softened and turned to concern as he took my hand.

-The nightmares, have they stopped?

-Well, I do-

-Where is Maxwell?

Wu Fei had run into the room…how did he get past the door? He was flushed and panting from, probably running.

-Upstairs.

His eyes widened.

-You left him alone!

**Through the looking Glass.**

I look outside my window

Where emptiness resides

Where phantoms listen to the winds

Where all my fury hides

I may seem like an angel

Always helping everyone

But don't you know what I am

Once I hold a gun?

My sanity is loose within

As I look into the land of living

Through the looking glass

Because I'm not forgiven

And every night I dream

Of every single face

Cut with all the shattered glass

Within my cold embrace

And now I look outside again

For I always must

Through the shattered looking glass

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust

**TBC**

Little bit of Quatre there…kinda boring cuz I was delusional when I wrote this…getting better?

Any sujestions? I mean-

I know where the story is going an sorry, can't disclose but any like **mini-ideas**?

I'd be grateful for reviews.

Thanks for even viewing…


	5. Chapter 5

**Battlefield of Masks.**

Author: Evyl

Genre: Romance

Disclaimer: Whatever…like yeah…refer to earlier chapters for this…

Pairings: Heero/Duo Trowa/Quatre

Warnings/classifications: shonen ai, angst

**Protecting the Justice within.**

Maxwell just sat there and cried.

What ever happened to 'big boys don't cry'?

Yuy! That bastard! How can he do something like this? In the war I respected him but now…

-Maxwell…

I try to make my voice as soft and gentle as possible.

-Don't cry.

He buried his face in his hands and wailed.

So much for asking.

In the beginning, I really hated him, proclaiming himself as the God

of Death, he was always so loud.

And that smile, it always disgusted me how he could pilot that suit, kill so many people day to day and still, somehow manage to smile and be happy. His cheery personality attracted me but the circumstances repelled me.

Of course, then I realised. He was just faking.

We all hid behind masks which we developed over the course of our lives, Barton, the silent and calculating soldier, Winner, the kind and gentle hearted prince, Yuy, the perfect soldier and me, me as the bringer of justice.

Maxwell's mask was different from all of us.

Quatre got sad after killing, Barton ignored it, Yuy laughed and in my opinion, enjoyed it, me, I fought and killed the weak.

Maxwell just smiled.

He made himself perfect, joyful, always smiling, always good at everything.

I used to think he was that way. Cruel and bloodthirsty. I used to think, like Yuy, he enjoyed killing and fighting.

But he had a different reason, a just reason.

In truth he was the purest and gentlest of us all.

I wish I could kill that good for nothing pig!

I wish I could take that gun of his and just shove it down his throat!

These past years in war…they weren't so bad. All those years I lied to myself, about my feelings. From those years of war, I learned of my real self. I could never go back to being who I was before but at the same time, I have no illusions of justice. Like total pacifism, absolute justice can never be achieved.

But I will try.

For my angel.

**Protecting the Justice within.**

I have no such illusions

Of perfect, fluffy peace

I have no such dilutions

Of fighting for the weak

I don't know how the others could

Keep fighting on and on

I only know that I will fight

Till all unjust is gone

I have no such illusions

Of calling myself God

But one thing I do know is true

I'll keep on fighting on

**TBC**

**Yeah, the time line goes like this, Duo was meant to meet Heero on one day but he never showed up (Heero) and Heero had the same story but at another time. This is after the war and that's how they know where to find each other...it all becomes clear later on...so thank you and review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Battlefield of Masks.**

Authors: Evyl

Genre: Romance, Humour

Disclaimer: Right...don't own Gundam Wing...etc...

Pairings: Heero/Duo, Quatre/Trowa

**Answering for my Faults.**

I never saw my life as important. My missions, yes, they were more than important, they were necessary to be completed perfectly. No failures could be accepted. Survival was a requirement. But when the war ended I was lost with nowhere to go and no knowledge of how to live.

Then there was Duo and suddenly I started believing that everything would turn out fine; that all my life would fit in like jigsaw pieces made perfectly for each other.

And what happened now, when it was all ruined, when I was disillusioned. My dreams shattered and lost somewhere in the darkness that was my heart. Where do I go now?

I couldn't care less, not anymore.

I looked to my side to find that Relena was still talking. About? I have no idea for I had shut out all sounds. Occasionally I blurt out some answer to keep her content but for the most of our…one sided conversation I kept silent.

My thought went back to Duo. It was almost as if all things had circular reasoning, every thought turned to Duo, Duo, Duo. If I though about books, I would think about reading in silence. Silence that would suddenly be broken by laughter or chatter, a smile. Whose smile? Duo's.

Duo.

Why had he not come? Why couldn't he reject me to my face? Why? It would have been less painful and even if not so…then I would at least have the confirmation. I needed it. I needed him to say it to my face.

Duo, why?

In the corner of my eye I saw that Relena's mouth had stopped moving, I turned and found that she sat there, looking at me expectantly.

-Pardon?-I had no idea what she wanted. Perhaps a question which I had left unanswered?

She giggled.

-Would you marry me Heero?

I drew back slightly as the shock registered. My first impulse was to scream 'NOOOOO!' on top of my lungs, break the shaded glass in the car and jump out to my inexorable death for the limo was going at 250km per hour…then again I did survive a fifty floor fall once…

The idea seemed good but then I stopped myself. Could this be a way to atone for all my sins? For killing so many and surviving? And what about Relena, she had the same emotions as me. If I left her now, wouldn't I be doing the same thing as Duo? Wouldn't that cause her pain?

I cringed and pushed the answer out of my mouth.

-Yes.

She sat in silence as the answer paralysed her. She either didn't expect me to agree or she was too delirious with happiness. I preferred to think it was the first one. Then her face broke into delight and I groaned inwardly.

What did I just condemn myself to?

My fate had been sealed with one simple word, how ironic.

Relena started rambling on about the wedding plans, who she was going to invite. All the pretty pink things…ew.

-I will tell everyone! All our friends! No, in fact, the whole world should know!

At first I flinched but then shrugged the discomfort off. What did it matter now? Duo wouldn't care, maybe he would even be happy for me.

Be happy Duo Maxwell.

**Answering for my Faults.**

Can I justify my acts

By saying 'it was my mission'

And will I be forgiven

Under that condition?

If I make adjustments

For my sins atone

If I make a person happy

In my pains, all alone

Every single fault is mine

So now I have to answer

As the memories eat away

At my flesh like cancer

Do I chase after my illusions?

After my childish dreams?

Or do I answer for my sins

To the accusing screams

And I will spend my life

Answering for my faults

Cause for every decision I made

These are the results

**TBC**

**Thanks for reviewing anf yeah, I;m kinda going on holiday so it will be hard to update but I will try. Hope the story becomes clearer soon...**


	7. Chapter 7

**Battlefield of Masks.**

Authors: Evyl

Genre: Romance, Humour

Disclaimer: Right...don't own Gundam Wing...etc...

Pairings: Heero/Duo, Quatre/Trowa

**Getting too Hard.**

I left Maxwell and progressed to the living room.

It was alright.

He was ok. No, he wasn't but better than dead.

I tried to convince myself to stop worrying so much but it just wouldn't work. I had gone to find Yuy but that was a big mistake. He…that girl…I don't know how Maxwell will take this…I just…how?

Winner came in and set down tea. How typical. Barton gave me a questioning look.

-He wouldn't say. Wu Fei, we're sorry, he was too tired, so we sent him upstairs.

-I promise you Chang, he has no weapons.

I looked at them blankly.

Yes. Maxwell hadn't done anything…yet.

The idea loomed in my head and threatened to burst as I tried to make sense of everything.

-He…

I looked at Winner.

-He never came.

That was enough, That was all I was going to tell. Yes, they deserved to know, but when time came, Maxwell would tell them himself.

I guess they understood, even without words.

-So you went to see him?

I slowly nodded.

-So why didn't he?

I turned away.

I cleared my throat and prepared myself.

-Yuy is engaged to the…well…he got engaged to the…to the Peacecraft girl.

There was awkward silence. Both ex-pilots stared at me in disbelief.

-Say that again.

I noticed how Barton's voice quivered.

-Yuy and Relena Peacecraft got…engaged.

The two sat back, too stunned to say anything.

-I, think that I should inform Maxwell…but…due to the …um…

I faltered in my words, I didn't know what else to say.

-Yes.

Winner's voice sounded flat and tired.

-Yes, maybe…

We just sat there, waiting for something.

-I…maybe I should just…talk to him maybe.

Barton looked up and nodded.

I started walking up the stairs. How will I explain this to him? And I thought fighting was hard.

**Getting too Hard.**

It's getting too hard

To say without hurt

It's getting too hard

To keep to my word

In keeping these secrets

There's one thing I've learnt

That deep within me

My heart has been burnt

But how can I say

Without causing more hurt

How'll I explain

And keep to my word

**TBC**

Well...this is kinda wierd...suggestions on the writting welcome...longer, more often updates, whatever...


	8. Chapter 8

**Battlefield of Masks.**

Authors: Evyl

Genre: Romance, Humour

Disclaimer: Right...don't own Gundam Wing...etc...

Pairings: Heero/Duo, Quatre/Trowa

**Too tired to Bleed.**

-Maxwell?

Too tired.

-Maxwell!

Not enough energy.

-Maxwell!

I heard the door slam down and a certain 05 pilot stomp in.

-Maxwell! When I call you're suppo…DUO! Duo, are you all right! Duo!

Once again with the first name.

-'s kay Wu. 's 'ust a 'ittle mvloodloss.'

My words slured. Well it's not a little blood loss; actually my wrists are pumping huge amounts of blood. I never knew humans had so much liquid in them…so moist.

So tired.

-DUO!

Sorry Wu, I'm just too tired…

Heero.

**Too tired to Bleed.**

I'm so tired of smiling and laughing

And pretending that I am alright

I'm so tired of people just saying

Your life is so perfect, so full of delight

I'm so tired of hiding behind a mask

I don't even know who I am anymore

Sometimes this perfect life just gets on my nerves

And the pain becomes too hard to ignore

Sometimes I think of running away

And just forgetting it all

So I decided that I'm too tired to bleed

Too tired to stand from my fall

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

**Battlefield of Masks.**

Authors: Evyl

Genre: Romance, Humour

Disclaimer: Right...don't own Gundam Wing...etc...

Pairings: Heero/Duo, Quatre/Trowa

**Reaching for the Silence.**

As I sat by Duo's bed in the hospital room I wondered why he had gone to such drastic measures. I mean Yuy didn't show up for some random meeting. He might have encountered numerous problems while attempting to reach the appointed location. Besides, was that really something to die over? He was not informed of the engagement between the Peacecraft girl and Yuy so that wouldn't be a factor.

I heard a muffled groan and so concluded that he was waking or already awake.

-Duo.

He sat up slightly, causing the snow white blankets around him to crumple. His eyes looked straight into mien but they were dull. Almost dead.

Memories flooded back.

Guns, bullets. Screams and death.

He attempted to speak but only a whisper came forth.

-Why…why didn't you just let me…die?

His state of mind was already on the depressing subject. Distraction from me was required and so I thought hard of possibilities. To ignore his question would be a start although it might arouse suspicion in him.

I decided to talk about Quatre to him.

-Lately Quatre has been acting strangely. He seems so distant, like he isn't even there. Empty, the room where he is feels like it is vacant. I'm experiencing an emotion I hardly ever feel, fear. I am afraid that he will…do something stupid.-I finished, regretting having ever started. What a great idea, talking to someone who had just attempted suicide about someone who will **possibly** commit suicide. Smart.

And although my expression probably remained the same all the way through, I tried, I really did try to make it emotional, soft.

-Listen Duo. I don't know the whole story behind you and your actions but from the information that I have I don't believe that suicide is the answer. What do you expect us to do? You are in pain from some kind of loss but lets assume that you had successfully killed yourself, then what? What about those who care about you? They would be hurt too, they would be experiencing loss too. Should they commit suicide too? Is that the answer?

He stared blankly at the wall. It seemed like he was in his own world but I understood that he had heard me, every single thing correctly and now was analysing the data, taking it in.

I waited.

-Tro?-he whispered.

-Yes?

-Do you think I am weak?

I was taken aback. How could I possibly find him weak? The man that had experienced such a painful childhood, much like me yet so different. Where I was trained to kill and such, he taught himself. He had succeeded in being so humane and piloting a machine of mass murder. Where other people hid their emotions, denied them, he faced them head on.

-No. I find you the strongest.

True. Stronger that Heero Yuy. Duo went through the war without becoming an emotionless killing machine. Yes, Yuy wasn't emotionless, even though he did a great job at hiding his feelings, he was too anti-social, too lost in his own mind.

Duo was stronger than Quatre. He didn't lose his stance, he didn't illusion himself with a world of strength and love.

Stronger than Wu Fei. He did not complain, did not give up when finding an obstacle which was too hard.

Stronger than me. He was himself. A real human, a real person.

He turned my way and just looked in my direction, his eyes out of focus. I grew uneasy under his gaze and tried to change the subject.

-You know, Hilde came round about an hour ago, and Noin wants to visit you too, I think she said tomorrow and…

But he had already lost interest. His eyes had closed and he had slowly slid down back into his first position. He was asleep.

I stayed silent for a while then stood up and proceeded to the door.

-Why are you…silent? Is that your mask Trowa…is it…

I stopped.

Mask…

**Reaching for the Silence.**

Do I have

What it takes

To face my faults

And mistakes?

Do I escape

Every time

To the silence

Of my mind?

Do I hide

Do I lie?

No,

I just don't

Want to die

Do I drown

In my tears

And wait

Till it clears?

Do I fear

The fight

And hide deep

In the night?

Do I run

Do I bail

Every time

That I fail?

Do I know

Who I blame

When I say

Just your name?

So I just reach

For my silence

It's my war

It's my violence

Stuck

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

**Becoming my Reflection.**

The wind rushed through my hair and played with it menacingly, throwing it about in a haze of chestnut brown. I looked around only to find that I was surrounded by water which flowed in a raging stream of lilac and aquamarine. The skies seemed to flow in a blood red colour that sped around in dizzying circles. The atmosphere rang with laughter and gentle tears of childhood's joy which slowly filled and overflowed. Shadowed figures ran on the angered surface of the water and played in a hazardous sequence of waves that repeated in a hurry of a maddening hurricane which engulfed everything and pulled it into the sickening tornado of nature's games. I dared not step forward in fear of being pulled in. One of the figures broke free and started in my direction. It had no definite form only something that slightly resembled a human shape. It came within two meters, then stopped and cowered in recognition. In the hellish heat, everything seemed to float about in a daze and perhaps it had gotten to my head because I stretched out my hand and greeted it.

-Hello?

It backed away from my hand but upon hearing my voice came closer. I honestly don't know why I kept on talking but I guess I felt a kindred soul, resorted to living in a hellish place, resorted to go through the same boring and repeating circumstances.

Like me.

-My name is Duo, Duo Maxwell. What's yours?

At hearing my name it stood up and came even closer, now I could distinguish some features. It had short, unruly hair and ragged clothes.

And still it came closer. I couldn't see the eyes but from under the wild hair, I could see a glint of anger or perhaps fear. As it approached, its facial features became visible. The locks of hair were dirty and tangled, the skin was cut and bruised, the lips were cracked and dry. It pulled up its own hand but did not take mien. Perhaps in an attempt to speak, it opened its mouth but despite the effort, nothing came out.

-You don't have a name?

Still, it came closer and as the wind blew its locks away, I could see that its eyes were distant and hollow but even now, I couldn't identify the colour. It flexed its lips again and opened them but said nothing. Beauiful.

I suddenly felt like I was being pulled away, but for some reason I didn't want to leave, I wasn't ready. I wasn't prepared and so, in a last attempt, I stretched my hand towards the creature and screamed out.

-Keep me!

It grabbed my palm but made no attempt to pull me back. Its eyes looked at me, almost pleading as it shook its head.

-Then tell me what your name is?

It looked surprised for a second, yes, it was a silly thing to say. But then, to my amazement, it spoke.

-Duo…

The rest of the words were drowned out by a roaring sound. I wasn't good at lip reading but from what I knew, it had began to say A, then a hissing sound, then E, then something that resembled an O or a U. What? I drifted slowly into reality, back to a consciousness state but before I did I realised.

What was all this for? All the tears, sadness, blood?

For some Bastard who didn't even have the decency to show up and tell me the truth to my face?

Well, they all had a thing coming if they though that Duo Maxwell was weak and heartbroken.

I chuckled to myself.

-Is this what happens when you take of your mask?

I though about what Quatre once said about dreams coming true.

-Is this what will happen to me? I will go to Hell? Me? The God of Death?

No, I was never taking of my mask, a new mask.

-And what a Mask it will be!

I woke up chuckling.

**Becoming my Reflection.**

I wish that truth was like the lies

Even if it isn't always right

I wish that no one could see past my eyes

The unheard, pain filled cries

I want to have no emotions

They only interfere with life

I want to put up barriers so that no one can see

What is hidden deep inside of me

I used to love someone with life

Now I gave that feeling away

Because of betrayal and now I am to become my reflection

For who I was never to see the light of day

'Cause every time that I open up

Let another see what hurts so much

They leave me standing in salty tears

Left deep inside my darkest fears


	11. Chapter 11

**Changing what counts**

I was sitting on a chair next to Duo's hospital-bed, so that I could look out of the window and see the sky. It was a grey day, the sunlight was filtered by the many clouds like in one of those cheesy movies. I supposed it could start raining any minute now. I tore my gaze away from the window and looked at Duo, who was sleeping. He still didn't look too good, but it wasn't as bad as it had been when he had first been brought to hospital, well, actually that would have been nearly impossible, since when he brought him in he was dying so...

Then my gaze fell on Wu Fei, who was pacing through the room, which was getting soooooooooooooooooooooo annoying. I could understand why the black-haired pilot did so; the clouds outside, and the tension inside the room were weighing heavily upon me too, made me feel restless, wanting to move but I mean, COME ON!

Eventually I couldn't stand the silence and the tension any longer and spoke up.

-Wufei…

I whispered as softly as I could, hoping I wouldn't disturb Duo…but then again he does sleep like a bear…

The Chinese ex-pilot stopped his pacing and looked at me, an unidentifiable expression on his face. I was too weary to try and use my space-heart to read his emotions, I didn't think I'd be able to unravel the shreds of emotions I'd be feeling if I'd try anyway…

-What is it, Winner?- he asked, after casting a careful glance at the sleeping boy or in my opinion, checked out the sleeping boy, sometimes I feel so sorry for him. I mean I have Trowa and Duousedto have Heero and he would always be left out. He had very strong emotions for the American boy but I guess, out of shyness, he never said anything.

/Or out of fear that Heero would beat him up…/

I sighed and looked at the floor, not really knowing what to say. Then I raised my eyes to meet Wufei's onyx ones. I asked the question that had been on my mind for a while now:

-Should we tell him about Heero, when he wakes up?

/If he wakes up…/

Unfortunately, Duo chose that exact moment to open his eyes, just when Wufei was about to answer me.

-Tell me what?-he asked sleepily.

I glanced at Wufei, shrugging helplessly, as trying to say 'well, now there is no choice but to tell him' but then again, he doesn't have empathy.

Instead of calmly and nicely explaining everything to Duo, Wu Fei turned red, looked away and then let out a scream of agony.

-YUYISENGAGEDTOTHEPEACDCRAFTGIRLNOWGETOVERITANDSTOPCRYING!

At this very moment, I chose to fall over in shock and ponder on the meaning of being friends and what it meant to murder a person. Duo, on the other hand, just stared blankly at Wu Fei for a few seconds before deciphering the brilliantly put sentence and shrugging.

- Get over what?

Now it was Wu Fei's turn to fall over in shock.

-You mean you don't care?

Duo looked at him, slightly puzzled and then laughed.

-Wuffers! You look like you've been worried for the past two days and all you did was pacing! HAHAHAHAHAHA! What I am trying to say-AHAHAHAHAHAH-is that you-HAHAHAHAHAHA-look like HELL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I sweat-dropped and pulled myself up, back onto the chair. Maybe Duo had empathy too? But why was he laughing? I sensed tension and another feeling I couldn't identify. From my two years being friends with him, I knew when he faked laughing and smiling and yet, right now, in a situation where the normal Duo would have been crying in hysteria…he was laughing and totally convincing even me. Maybe I was getting old?

- Oh. I'm sorry Quat for neglecting you, YOU LOOK EVEN WORSE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wu Fei and I just stared in amazement. Well, actually I was trying to death-glare but mien could never come close to that of Heero… Wu Fei turned around, murmured something about getting Trowa and stumbled away looking incredibly lost. And he had every right to be. Duo just wouldn't stop laughing and so I tried the 'sad eyes' routine. Duo carried on with his new found way of hysteria and then it hit me. He was wearing a mask and what a mask. I must say. He was hiding behind fake emotions to hide the true feeling and so far, it was working.

-Duo…you don't have to wear it now…we, I mean I am your friend, you can be yourself with me…Duo…we'll help you through this, it will be-

- What are you talking about Quat? Wear what? Of course you're my friend, I am myself around you!

/ I may run and I may hide but I never tell a lie/

Damn, he isn't acting then why…? Why is he behaving this way? Is this really…him? All I could do was stare, I didn't know what to say, I was lost.

No, this wasn't Duo. Indeed. Duo doesn't lie. I know he is still good inside, I know he cares about Heero and I know he doesn't think I look like hell.

-Duo…come back.

And with that said I stood up and walked towards the door.

-Quat…?

I turned around, inside I let out a vbreath of relief and put on a slight smile on my lips, it was a mask of his, just another façade.

- When is the wedding, I want to be there when they marry…

How could I ever forgive Heero for doing this to Duo, the fragile boy with a heart softer than mine? How could he?

- SO I CAN LAUGH AT HER FACE FOR HAVING MADE SUCH A MISTAKE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaeh? Quat? Quat! QATRE!

Darkness.

**Changing what counts.**

Sometimes people like to hide

And lock themselves away inside

But don't they ever realise

All they do is lose themselves in a bunch of lies

I never hid behind a mask

I always wanted truth

But only now I realise

Reality is what we chose

All those people we don't hear

Walking under a sky of grey

And only now I realise

In their life they never got a say

Some people wear a mask of stone

Or hide behind smiles that never fade

But don't they ever realise

They lose what counts for in their façade

Hi, sorry that I havent updated for so long and I willtry to, sorry, had exams. Well, please review. Nic, I'll try to call.


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